empathic listening.

 empathic listening.

We usually want to be understood by talking to others first. Also, most people do not listen with the intent to understand, but with the intent to respond. So people are usually talking or just getting ready to speak. They filter everything through their own paradigm and try to implant their experiences in the lives of others.

We are full of our own logic and try to understand everything in the light of our own experience. I want to be understood while drawing. Our conversations are nothing more than a collection of monologues from each other. So I can't understand the slightest bit of what's going on inside the other person.

Our attitude to listening to others usually falls into one of five levels. The first is ignoring the person, which is actually not listening at all. The second is to pretend to listen while jogging. The third is selective listening, where only a specific part of the conversation is heard. The fourth is focused on listening, paying attention to what the other person is saying and paying attention to what they are saying. Fifth is the highest level of 'empathic listening', and very few listen with this attitude.

Empathic listening here is quite different from 'active' listening or 'reflective' listening, which basically mimics what others are saying. Those kinds of listening techniques are simply skill-based techniques that have little to do with inner character or interpersonal relationships. Therefore, this technique is also insulting the 'opponent'. It is essentially autobiographical, i.e. self-experiential. If we use these techniques we may not project our own experiences in real interactions, but the motivation to listen is always egocentric. Although listening is a reflective listening technique, the intent to listen is for the purpose of answering, controlling, and manipulating.

Empathic listening is listening with the intention of 'understanding'. I first understand the other person, that is, seek true understanding. But this is a completely different paradigm from what we have been doing so far.

Empathic listening means entering the inner frame of reference of others. Seeing the world from another person's point of view. At this point, we come to understand their paradigms and emotions.

Deep listening involves much more than taking into account what is being said, responding to it, and understanding it.

It is said that only 10% of communication is conveyed by what we say. The other 30% is transmitted through the sounds we make, and the other 60% is through our body language.

But when we do empathic listening, we not only hear with our ears but at the same time, more importantly, with our eyes and heart. At this point, we listen to our emotions, meanings, and even our actions. At this point, we listen to our emotions, meanings, and even our actions. It uses the right brain as well as the left brain. In other words, sensing, intuition, and feeling.

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Empathic listening involves projecting one's own autobiographical experience and understanding what's inside the other person's head and heart, rather than stating thoughts, feelings, motives, or interpretations. We listen to understand. Focus on receiving even the deepest spiritual communication of the other person.

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It is difficult to understand first, that is, to diagnose before prescribing. In the short term, it's much easier to recommend glasses to someone else that's worked well for you for a long time.

In such a long run, this is a huge depletion of both production and capacity. Without an accurate understanding of others, we cannot achieve maximum interdependent production.

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It takes considerable stability to enter the world of experience of profound listening.

To be influenced, you must first open yourself up. You may get hurt at this point.

In a sense, this is a paradox. The reason is that in order to be influenced, you must first be affected. This means you have to truly understand the other person.